All Of Me
by HelenaxMannings
Summary: I'd never given much thought to how I would die. I had, however, given a lot of thought into becoming a vampire. Although being turned by the one person who I thought wanted me dead wasn't exactly how I'd seen myself entering the world of the living dead. Perhaps I should have seen it coming. After all, Victoria always said she was the one with the wicked curveball.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

I'd never given much thought to how I would die.

I had, however, given a lot of thought into becoming a vampire. Although being turned by the one person who I thought wanted me dead wasn't exactly how I'd seen myself entering the world of the _living dead_.

It was what it was, though. Life didn't always throw you the ball you expected, the one you'd planned to catch and tuck neatly into the chapter of your perfect little book.

I'd thought with Edward in my life that things had already taken a turn for the unexpected, but I was wrong.

I'd thought in my 18 years that I'd learnt right from wrong, but now I'm not so sure.

I'd thought that Victoria had wanted me dead; I'd thought her to be the villain in my little story, but in the past few months my story has changed, pages have been torn and re-written, the ink has turned to blood and limitless pages added, and I'm left with no clue what is to be written on them.

Perhaps I should have seen it coming.

After all, Victoria always said she was the one with the wicked curveball.


	2. One: Last Human Day

**A/N: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. I do, however, love to mess with them and imagine up a million 'what if's' that I sometimes turn into fanfiction.**

 **Before you read ahead you should be warned that this story may upset those of you who ship any of the central canon pairings (Bella/Edward, Bella/Jacob) and those of you who see Bella as a certain type of character. This story may challenge a lot of what's canon because that's what I've always been interested in doing ever since I finished the series.**

 **So before you complain or send hate that 'that would never happen!' (like, duh, what is fanfiction for? exploring possibilities) don't say I didn't warn you ;)**

 **With that said, enjoy and review if you enjoy and review if you don't too, I guess. I can't tell you what to do.**

* * *

The drive back home from La Push was always a calming one. Even on a dark, rainy night like that night the silence, only interrupted by the noises of my little truck on the wet road, was serene.

Although I enjoyed spending time with Edward and Jacob, the alone time in-between, I valued. It gave me time to think. Though my thoughts were still distracted with the both of them, there was no one standing there asking me to make a decision, or giving me an anxious look that I would choose one over the other. I wished the subject could be dropped until a later time, like when there was no imminent threat of a newborn vampire army coming to attack. _Priorities_.

Just as I headed to turn around a sharp bend I felt something knock against me. Something _hard_ , and something strong enough that I found my little truck flipping on itself, smashing around on the road and crashing into some trees. It happened so fast that before I knew it I was sitting in the car upside down. I wasn't even sure if I'd had time to scream, the air felt like it had been knocked out of me, and my head was throbbing….was that blood?

 _Oh god it_ ** _was_** _blood._

My heart was thumping in my ears, it seemed in time with the rain pounding on the road that I could now hear because the windows had smashed open, I began to feel the little shards of glass cutting me in different places and cried out.

"H…hel…p.." I choked out, coughing and spluttering afterwards. I'd been winded by the fall and the rain was so loud that I realised it was no use calling for help.

It was unlikely anyone would come by this road before morning, unless Edward came looking for me. Would he come looking for me? Of course he would, I told him I'd be home soon, and he'd give me at most an hour before he'd show up and realise I wasn't there. But I wasn't sure I could wait that long, my head began to feel fainter by the minute and I was sure something was pushing into my abdomen.

Call for help…call…of course, where was my phone? I reached my hand around was much as I could, whimpering out at the pain. I finally reached for my seatbelt, crying out both in relief and pain when it released, dropping me out of my chair a little.

"Fuck!" I gasped as I saw the large gash in my leg, oozing blood.

With my seatbelt released it gave me more freedom to crawl, or more like struggle, about the car, searching for my phone, in between gasps and whimpers of pain. Never had I been so happy to suddenly feel a small metal device in my hand as I was in that moment, although my happiness was short-lived once I realised my phone was dead, the battery knocked somewhere in the crash.

"No, no, no, no, NO!" I sobbed, distressed. I would have to attempt to get out of the car and search for help on foot. On my sliced up and possibly broken leg.

After a few attempts, I eventually freed my other leg from where it was stuck, rolling up my sleeve as I smashed some more of the window's glass, struggling out of it, adding a few more cuts to my collection.

The rain began to fall on my wounds and I hissed out in pain, but it eventually became soothing by the time I'd freed my whole body from the car.

I'd taken maybe a few hobbles out onto the road, clutching at my sore arm when I heard a haunting, familiar voice call out. "Looking for this?"

I hesitantly turned around, peering through the veil of rain to see a mass of damp but still fiery red hair and piercing crimson eyes, her features illuminated by a flash of lightening, also revealing the phone battery in her hand.

"V…victoria…" I stuttered out, my teeth chattering as rain poured down my face. Had she planned this? Was she the thing that had knocked into my car? Why hadn't she just finished me off there.

I knew why. Like Laurant had said-she'd wanted me to suffer.

I knew there was no use trying to outrun a vampire in a rainstorm with a possibly broken leg, so all I could do was stand there, eyes wide and shivering in the rain, anticipating my demise.

She threw my battery over her shoulder, sauntering towards me like a lioness lurking its prey, her heeled boots tapping on the road. My emotions were doing a strange dance of fear and acceptance. As screwed up as it was, I'd already faced death a few times now, that I wasn't so sure if I was scared of it anymore. It felt as much a threat as tripping and grazing my knee, too common.

My eyes didn't leave hers as she walked right up to me until she was staring down at me, as much as she could do, anyhow. She was about my height, and my age, too, or at least looked it. I wondered how old she really was.

I wasn't sure if it was due to fear or coldness, though the longer Victoria dragged out her stare, the more uneasy I became. The awareness of how trapped I was began to sink in. My feet felt chained to the ground and I was being choked by an invisible rope. There was no use running, I'd already made that mistake with James.

"What are you waiting for? Just…just do it…" I begged her. I didn't want to die, but I knew I was going to. The anticipation frightened me more, gave me more time to think about how and when I was going to die and who and what I was leaving behind. "What are you waiting for?!" I found myself screaming at her, not afraid of her reaction. She was going to kill me anyway.

"You've got me, okay?! You…you've made your point! You've been hunting me down for over a year and here I am! A..a stupid…defenceless little human!" I found myself feeling _angry_. Angry that I was so defenceless, angry that Edward hadn't turned me because I would be able to face a threat like Victoria much better if he had. He'd left me defenceless, he'd left me weak and fragile, all because he thought he was taking the moral highground and giving me normality, but what if that's not what I wanted. Did what I wanted matter?

I guess it didn't now, I was going to die.

My breath caught in my throat as I was suddenly picked up off the ground, her hand squeezed around my neck. "James died. Because. Of. _You_!" She hissed.

 _No he didn't. James had died because he'd chosen to hunt me, full well knowing I had vampires on my side._ But I couldn't properly voice that with Victoria's hand around my throat so all I could choke out was "Not…my f…ault…."

Another flash of lightening revealed her blood red eyes staring into mine, curious, frustrated and bloodthirsty all at once. Suddenly my body was on fire and I thought she'd bitten me, but it took me a moment to realise she'd slammed my already broken body into the ground.

I cried out again, curling over into myself as much as I could with the pain I was in. Curling into a sobbing, shaking ball, hiding, I was so small. So weak. No wonder Edward had left me last year.

"Please….please…" I found myself sobbing into the ground, a strangled cry released from my throat as she yanked me back with my hair, her knee pushing into my broken leg, pinning me there.

"Oh, Bella, I have to say, this is such a disappointment. I thought you'd have more fight in you." She pushed down harder on my leg and I cried out again, not even being able to hear myself through the downpour of heavy rain, simply the vibrations in my throat.

"Edward!" I cried, hoping somehow he'd hear me.

Victoria's cold hands gripped my throat, pulling me back so she could hiss in my ear. "Edward's not coming. He can't fight all your battles for you, now can he?"

"This isn't my battle." I spat back, spluttering as the rain ran down my face, trembling from the pain soaring through my body. I knew Victoria wanted revenge, but her sadistic lover had it coming. She was obviously blinded by the years spent with him, if she hadn't been as crazy as him before then she sure was now. "Not…yours…e-either…"

"Edward killed my mate, it's personal. Oh, sweetheart, I don't expect your little human heart to understand what Edward took from me, but his act of love for you took _everything_ from me, so yeah, this is definitely _my_ battle."

She flipped me back onto my back and the air came whooshing out of me again as I felt something crack, a painful numbness soaring through me. Was I paralysed? Would I ever walk again if I ever got out of this? Edward would definitely have to change me now. Her hand stretched out above me like a claw, aiming for my chest. She was going to rip my heart out. Oh god.

"Wait!"

She paused, watching me curiously.

"Y-you're right. I don't understand what you and James had, I-I've never loved someone that long. Killing me now would only speed up the inevitable! I'm going to d-die one day and Edward's going to have to deal with it then anyway." Good save, Bella. Like that's going to sway her. You're just _food_.

"He wasn't going to change you?" She queried.

I didn't know, and that was the truth. "I-I don't know if he wants me to change. I think he likes me this way. A…a pet." I stuttered Laurent's words to me on the field all those months ago back to her. But what was making me twisted inside was that part of me _believed_ them. Edward seemed to like me weak and useless. Was I just a temporary amusement to him? _No, Bella, your mind is playing tricks on you, you're in a lot of pain._

But why wouldn't he change me? Did he not want an eternity with me? Was I not good enough for him?

Before I could ponder the thought any further Victoria had bared her teeth and lunged at my neck, a croaky squeal emitting out of me as I felt that familiar burning bite. I must have passed out from shock, or perhaps blood loss, perhaps she was draining me, because all of a sudden there was nothingness surrounding me.

 _This was it….was I supposed to say final goodbyes….in my head maybe…would anybody hear them…would they matter…did I matter?…_

I felt myself drifting into the darkness but suddenly an incredible, brightly burning light sucked me back. My eyes shot open and I was laying on the cold, wet road, struggling to find the air in my lungs that Victoria had nearly squeezed and punched out of me earlier. Was there any air left? I grasped at what little oxygen I could find with short, heavy breaths, coughing and writhing about, trying to free myself from the pain I was suddenly caged in, surging through my entire body. But why hadn't she drained me? The lightening struck in the sky, thunder rumbling the ground, though I couldn't tell the difference between the weather and the piercing fire I felt so intensely I swore I could see and feel it burning my insides. I'd felt this pain before, but it somehow felt worse. Like nothing could compare. I still felt like I was being suffocated, but Victoria's hands had been replaced with hot coals. Was she going to make me suffer and then end me? I couldn't see her. I couldn't see _anything_. My vision was blurred with tears and rain, and suddenly gone altogether as I felt my consciousness slipping. I would be free of the flames for only a few hours.

The flames returned in what felt like a matter of minutes, though I was told by a voice, a voice I couldn't locate amongst the blurred vision of my tortured body, that it had been 5 hours. I was in a different room. A different place. How far away was I? How far away was I from home? From Edward. "Edward…" I murmured. Could anyone hear me? Could anyone hear me over the flames? I screamed his name again. And again. I screamed it until the blackness returned. This time it would be kind enough to let me rest for a full day.

I remember waking up screaming on my final day. Shrieking, gasping, sobbing, for the burning felt like it was tearing me in two. The pain was so intense that I couldn't make sense of anything. Of where I was, of who I was, of if any of this was even real. But it was too painful not to be. It felt like someone had taken a tiny, sharp knife and was working their way through my body, slicing my chest open, and then hacking at my arms, my legs, my abdomen, my throat. Maybe they were. Maybe I had died in that car crash and I was stuck as a ghost in my autopsy. _Stop_ , I wanted to scream at them. _Stop, I'm not dead! I'm still here! I'm still here! Mom! Dad! Edward, make them stop!_ Then finally, they did stop. The burning settled, sweeping through me like a sandstorm, stinging my skin with one last gust of air, exiting my mouth in my final human breath. "Edward…."

* * *

It felt like waking from a deep sleep that's left me eternally refreshed, or slipping into a never-ending dream, but one I could feel so vividly that it was better than any reality I'd known. I felt awake, and my eyes hadn't even opened yet. I was taking in the sensations, the wind I could hear howling outside as though I was outside myself, but I knew I wasn't from the way I could fee the sheets beneath me and smell the walls surrounding me, was I even hearing the insects that lived inside them? The tiniest clitter clatter of spiders spinning their webs.

Slowly and hesitantly I opened my eyes and audibly gasped, a breath of air I felt unnecessary, but somehow habitual. It was clearer than I'd ever known, I could see every little detail on the wall, on the ceiling, and my hands which looked…..

I sat up on the bed, realising what had happened as the fractured details of my final human moments came back to me. Victoria. The pain. She'd bitten me. And now….

I stared into the mirror facing the bed, which seemed it had been placed there on purpose for me to use at this exact moment. Slowly I took in my features, which looked so strangely foreign yet familiar, more pronounced. I looked bolder, fiercer, but behind it all I could still see….me. Bella Swan. It was all still _me_. Except, of course, for those deep red eyes. Wide and ominous, staring back at me, reminding me exactly what I've become. I've become what I wanted, just not _how_ I wanted. As I stared deeper into the crimson orbs in the mirror I realised they were actually posing a question to me: _What will you become?_

* * *

 **Hope you're enjoying so far. This was a short chapter, kind of like an additional prologue. The prologue was the teaser and this was the full trailer, more is coming very soon. Already working on it now. Remember to review because feedback is always appreciated! :)**

 **-Tay**


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